Communication is the backbone of all our professional and personal relationships and it's good to remember that often its not what we say, but how we say it, that most impacts how effectively we communicate.
Mehrabians’s work shows that to understand communication, a receiver (listener) relies 7% on the actual words said, 38% on vocal elements and intonation, and 55% on facial cues. How we say it matters more than the words we use. Consider a simple ‘No, thank you’ and how many ways we can mean, and say that. The words stay the same but the delivery, and therefore the interpretation, can vary significantly.
The understanding of how to convey (when speaking) and interpret (when listening) will always be essential for effective communication, management and both professional and personal relationships.
It’s also important to remember there are two people in communication – the speaker and the listener – and each brings their own lens and emotionality to the conversation. We can only manage our own, and we need to also be aware of, and empathetic to the other party’s. This may affect how we communicate and also how they interpret our message.
How do we transfer Mehrabian's findings to modern written (text, slack and email etc) and telephone communications? Not so easily. Due to the largest part missing (facial/non-verbal cues), means greater care needs to be taken in the use of language and expression, because the visual channel does not exist. You can see why emojis have become popular - an attempt to give a facial cue when sending email or text message. It's not always appropriate to use emojis when messaging though so if the context or content is somewhat sensitive, do take time to review before sending to check the tone overall and ensure it reflects the message you want it to.
