Stoicism seems to be the philosophy "flavour of the month", but it’s become apparent that if I had to pick, the existentialists are more my crew. Both however are rooted in having a strong sense of personal responsibility. As I’ve been designing and refining the course content for the University of Canterbury Executive Education courses I’m running, this existentialist influence has no doubt had an impact as it’s now clear there’s a theme emerging – one where I want to keep setting everyone a ‘Leadership Challenge’. Looking back at past LinkedIn and blog posts, I’ve used that term a fair few times.
Most of us find it hard to balance working in our ventures with working on them, let alone working on our own leadership development. It might be that it’s just easier to do things how we’ve always done them, or to invest our attention in those we ‘like’, and just stay away from the delicate subjects like ‘diversity’.
Personally, I’m less interested in talking about diversity, what I really care about is each of us doing our part to create cultures that help everyone to have a sense of belonging. That’s one area of our leadership journeys we all have to keep learning and developing in. I know this post might come across to some of you as trying to teach you to suck eggs and I'm sorry for that, I just know there's a spectrum for where everyone is comfortable and honestly, in the spaces I've been in the last few years, there's a long way to go so I wanted to start with some real, tangible things we can all do now.
A dear friend from the good old days at Southbridge Primary School now resides in London and leads commercial pricing for an international law firm, and was home recently. We had dinner and talked about a wide range of things, and while sharing my take above on how belonging is where we need to put our effort, he shared a great saying that was passed to him:
“Diversity is being invited to the dance, inclusion is being asked to dance, belonging is dancing like no one is watching.”
Belonging is something we all have responsibility for, and not just at work. We all know representation matters – you ‘have to see it, to be it’ (or believe it) and we know that images speak 1000 words. For many of us, we can whip up a PowerPoint in five minutes flat, we know that the ‘good’ speakers use pictures more than text-heavy slides, and we know how to build suspense with a fun, personal but structured introduction.
Here’s the challenge – whenever you have the attention of others, are leading, coaching, influencing, role modelling, teaching or training – use that moment to subtly showcase what you believe in, and create a new, inclusive narrative (if you can authentically do so).
Use images, videos and words and actions that reflect the real Aotearoa. Surely we’re all sick of seeing staged, staid blue-shirt-wearing folks in board rooms as images of ‘business’ in New Zealand? That’s not who leads our social enterprises, who found our startups, lead our teams, front our media so let’s do better – we are a bi-cultural nation with six major ethnic groups so let’s ensure we all champion the beauty and power of that!
When I presented at the M2 Summit last year to 200 business leaders or run a client training session with seven people, my slides always have images of people who I’ve chosen to represent my values. Yes, you have to work harder to find images that showcase real people and our communities, but it’s worth it. You’ll note on the web and socials for Careering9 we select pictures that represent women of all colours, shapes, sizes, beliefs and orientations. I was so sick of seeing ‘successful women’ as thin, University-educated and European – frankly rather “All American”. I want to see women that are representative of all of us here in Aotearoa.
This is a goal I set myself years ago and until recently, haven’t thrown down the gauntlet to others which seems like an error on my part. I’m sure by doing so, we’ll have some good conversations and I’m hoping I am challenged back in new ways too so I can keep learning and do better.
Brené Brown said “People are opting out of vital conversations about diversity and inclusivity because they fear looking wrong or being wrong”. So risk it, be wrong, because we must have these conversations, we have to do better. Creating safe, engaged, and inclusive workspaces isn’t a ‘nice to have’, it’s damn important.
Here’s a starting point for the things each of us in a business context can do, they’re small but impactful:
- Introduce yourself in the way you feel most comfortable, celebrate and share your beliefs and culture and then invite, and allow space for others to do the same
- Introduce yourself and name your pronouns
- Listen when other’s introduce themselves, ask as many times as you need to to correctly pronounce their name
- Use images that reflect the culture and environment you want to champion – if you’re designing pitch decks or slides for training it's not enough to ensure it's 'not offensive', instead make it engaging - use images of a wide range of roles, show women in clear positions of leadership and authority, select a spectrum of ethnicity and skin tones, a range of ages, and different levels of physical and neuro abilities
- When referencing ‘families’ remember that the heteronormative nuclear family only exists in NZ about 31% of the time, use terms like adult or parent instead of Mum and Dad, and if you need to use those labels or if you’re using hypothetical examples talk about the "two dads" or refer to the "wife and wife" at times too
- For video content have captions and transcripts, which are also needed for podcasts and other audio lessons or content
- In-person, hire a sign language interpreter
- Discuss inclusiveness and belonging openly with your team/s
- Stay open to feedback and learn ways of improving
We have the freedom to lead our sports, learning, social and work teams in ways that demonstrate inclusiveness. We can role model inclusive leadership, interrupt biases and advocate for change. And we can DO what’s needed to leverage our relationships, respect, influence and connections to make the changes necessary in the places we are welcome in, to create safe spaces for others who may not have access or feel safe there today. If we choose to.
This isn’t a post about Pride, it just happens to be the one evening I’ve had the capacity to structure this end to end, so it’s not a one-off challenge, it’s not about being a good ally (although yes to that), it’s about just being a good human and championing the wonderful humans we get to live on these stunning islands with. Who knows what magic that will lead to.
Glossary
Existentialism “Your experience is uniquely different from anyone else’s. There is no universal truth in existentialism, and it explores the meaning of life. And its primary concern explores what it means for people to be free.”
Stoicism “is rooted in logic and reason and advances the idea that there is a need for non-attachment in life events. They argue that everything is perception; you can choose your reality based on your reactions.”
Women – all of them. As the Human Rights Campaign said beautifully “When we say women, that word always includes trans women. There’s no ifs, ands or buts about it”.
Flavour of the month – “The phrase was devised as an advertising ploy for ice cream. Certain flavours were concocted and spotlighted each month in order to stir interest. The earliest known use of the term flavour of the month was by Sealtest ice cream in 1936”.
Short clip from Mindy Kaling’s latest tv show on how to introduce yourself and your pronouns well
Teaching (your) grandmother to suck eggs is an English language saying that refers to a person giving advice to another person in a subject with which the other person is already familiar (and probably more so than the first person).- Wikipedia
References
https://www.otago.ac.nz/ctpi/otago024789.pdf
https://dailystoic.com/existentialism-stoicism-corey-mohler/
https://criticalthinkingsecrets.com/stoicism-vs-existentialism/
https://www.hrc.org/resources/5-things-to-know-to-make-your-feminism-trans-inclusive
